Surviving Anxiety at a Blogging Event

Not only am I an introvert, I suffer a touch of social anxiety. I don't really know what brings it on. I'm guessing feelings of inadequacy and lack of confidence. What if no one talks to me? What if I'm dressed wrong? Am I claustrophobic? An elevator or cozy little space doesn't affect me but airplanes and piling into a van or bus full of people...well, that makes me want to run screaming. I can feel my face getting red as my heart rate increases. My body has a strong impulse to bolt out the exit door, waving my arms in the air, ready to hail my own taxi, to walk to the destination or hi-jack a car, anything but being in that seat.

But when I received the invitation to attend this specific blogger event, those thoughts never entered my head. I was honored and accepted without hesitation. Woo hoo! A chance to get out, be pampered, mingle with a favorite company/brand/product and to hang out with blog friends? Count me in!

But as the time of the conference neared, the doubts and fears started. Some voice in my head dreaming up all sorts of social nightmares. As I packed for my trip, I even made a special trip to the store for an anti-diarrhea medication...why is it that internal freaking out creates an upset digestive system?! I'm not sure if I even needed it but I certainly took a dose (or two) as directed. Just.in.case.

I thought up 1032 excuses for cancelling but those thoughts just create even more anxiety and stress when the plans have all been finalized and my real true reason is fear.

And while I applied my makeup before heading to the airport, I downloaded an "anxiety-hypnosis-app" on my i-phone. A free one. Just.in.case.

The drive to the airport was un-eventful. Another phobia (wow...didn't plan on mentioning this fear too) is driving in the snow. The snow flurries kept my mind pre-occupied for the hour+ drive and something about nearing the airport is exciting. Airport represents trip. Fun. Vacation!

But the minute I'm sitting in that airplane seat {by the window = 2 people obstacle}, I feel the panic bubbling up. Like a crazy laugh is about to erupt for no reason. Since electronic devices are prohibited during take off, I picked up the Sky Mall magazine and read every word. Out loud. In my head. Even products to prevent balding, shopping for those goofy Mr.-Potato-Head-like faces for trees, cool dog gates, hair removal, all sort of techy cools things. The second that electronic devices were permitted, I powered up my phone and began the "anti-anxiety app".

Did it work? It doesn't feel like it at the time. But I was soothed by the hypnotist's lovely Scottish accent. I did close my eyes and listen to every.single.word. I did relax. I did repeat the words "calm and relaxed" in my head. And I got through the flight. So, while it feels silly, yes, it worked.

I find that keeping my mind pre-occupied is the key to not giving in to the anxiety, not taking one day at a time, but one minute at a time.

And for the next two days, when a panic attacked threatened, I doubt anyone noticed as I repeated the words "calm and relaxed" in a Scottish accent in my head. There were times when my introvert-ness made me uncomfortable, when I would be standing by myself. What do you do at those times? You'll find me weaseling my way into a small group and contributing to the conversation or taking a moment to look at my i-phone. Guess it's time to check to see if I have anything important to read. lol I don't really have an answer for that time...I fake it. Faking being a part of the group until I AM absorbed into it, until I am a part of the group. And silently curse that I wasn't born with natural outgoing qualities. I find someone else who looks to maybe be suffering the same fears, approach them, introduce myself and start a conversation. And I find that my fears are really unwarranted. I was an invited guest. There was plenty to discuss. I was surrounded by awesome friends and new interesting people, ones with better social skills who made me feel comfortable and at ease.

And I'm glad I forced myself (it really felt like a conscious effort) to attend. I had fun. I met some long-time friends face-to-face for the first time, caught up with friends I talk to online every day, learned a ton about new products, made new connections and came home feeling blessed and refreshed.

I'm not advising that taking 2 doses of Immodium and a self-hypnosis session will cure your social anxiety. I'm only sharing my experience and letting you know, I understand. If you have the same fears, find a way to overcome them. Understand that others around you may even be breathing through the same fears. I think you'll be rejoicing in the fact that you won't have regrets and will actually have a great time.

Read all about the Rustoleum Blogger Event at DIY Show Off.