Surviving Anxiety at a Blogging Event

Not only am I an introvert, I suffer a touch of social anxiety. I don't really know what brings it on. I'm guessing feelings of inadequacy and lack of confidence. What if no one talks to me? What if I'm dressed wrong? Am I claustrophobic? An elevator or cozy little space doesn't affect me but airplanes and piling into a van or bus full of people...well, that makes me want to run screaming. I can feel my face getting red as my heart rate increases. My body has a strong impulse to bolt out the exit door, waving my arms in the air, ready to hail my own taxi, to walk to the destination or hi-jack a car, anything but being in that seat.

But when I received the invitation to attend this specific blogger event, those thoughts never entered my head. I was honored and accepted without hesitation. Woo hoo! A chance to get out, be pampered, mingle with a favorite company/brand/product and to hang out with blog friends? Count me in!

But as the time of the conference neared, the doubts and fears started. Some voice in my head dreaming up all sorts of social nightmares. As I packed for my trip, I even made a special trip to the store for an anti-diarrhea medication...why is it that internal freaking out creates an upset digestive system?! I'm not sure if I even needed it but I certainly took a dose (or two) as directed. Just.in.case.

I thought up 1032 excuses for cancelling but those thoughts just create even more anxiety and stress when the plans have all been finalized and my real true reason is fear.

And while I applied my makeup before heading to the airport, I downloaded an "anxiety-hypnosis-app" on my i-phone. A free one. Just.in.case.

The drive to the airport was un-eventful. Another phobia (wow...didn't plan on mentioning this fear too) is driving in the snow. The snow flurries kept my mind pre-occupied for the hour+ drive and something about nearing the airport is exciting. Airport represents trip. Fun. Vacation!

But the minute I'm sitting in that airplane seat {by the window = 2 people obstacle}, I feel the panic bubbling up. Like a crazy laugh is about to erupt for no reason. Since electronic devices are prohibited during take off, I picked up the Sky Mall magazine and read every word. Out loud. In my head. Even products to prevent balding, shopping for those goofy Mr.-Potato-Head-like faces for trees, cool dog gates, hair removal, all sort of techy cools things. The second that electronic devices were permitted, I powered up my phone and began the "anti-anxiety app".

Did it work? It doesn't feel like it at the time. But I was soothed by the hypnotist's lovely Scottish accent. I did close my eyes and listen to every.single.word. I did relax. I did repeat the words "calm and relaxed" in my head. And I got through the flight. So, while it feels silly, yes, it worked.

I find that keeping my mind pre-occupied is the key to not giving in to the anxiety, not taking one day at a time, but one minute at a time.

And for the next two days, when a panic attacked threatened, I doubt anyone noticed as I repeated the words "calm and relaxed" in a Scottish accent in my head. There were times when my introvert-ness made me uncomfortable, when I would be standing by myself. What do you do at those times? You'll find me weaseling my way into a small group and contributing to the conversation or taking a moment to look at my i-phone. Guess it's time to check to see if I have anything important to read. lol I don't really have an answer for that time...I fake it. Faking being a part of the group until I AM absorbed into it, until I am a part of the group. And silently curse that I wasn't born with natural outgoing qualities. I find someone else who looks to maybe be suffering the same fears, approach them, introduce myself and start a conversation. And I find that my fears are really unwarranted. I was an invited guest. There was plenty to discuss. I was surrounded by awesome friends and new interesting people, ones with better social skills who made me feel comfortable and at ease.

And I'm glad I forced myself (it really felt like a conscious effort) to attend. I had fun. I met some long-time friends face-to-face for the first time, caught up with friends I talk to online every day, learned a ton about new products, made new connections and came home feeling blessed and refreshed.

I'm not advising that taking 2 doses of Immodium and a self-hypnosis session will cure your social anxiety. I'm only sharing my experience and letting you know, I understand. If you have the same fears, find a way to overcome them. Understand that others around you may even be breathing through the same fears. I think you'll be rejoicing in the fact that you won't have regrets and will actually have a great time.

Read all about the Rustoleum Blogger Event at DIY Show Off. 

Hello.World.Wide.Web.

Welcome! "Hey...you look a little familiar!" Well, if you're a DIY'er, you may know me from my DIY blog, DIY Show Off, where I share our do-it-yourself home improvement and decorating and encourage others to give it a try and to show off their hard work. And if you don't know me, "why, hello!!! Lovely to make your acquaintance! I'm Roeshel." Sometimes a girl wants to share other interests. ::::record scratch sound effect:::: WHAT?!! I know.  Believe it or not...there is more to my life than just DIY. Well, sometimes. ;) Like what, pray tell?

Here are some areas that don't always fit into the DIY topic over at DIY Show Off...

• FOOD: Mr. DIY {also known as the love of my life, my partner, my hubby, 'my personal chef' or "Mutz"} whips up delicious 'russcipes' and  I'd love to share them with the www. It's a HUGE passion of his {along with homebrewing...don't worry, I only partake of the 'aromas'}. Of course I can cook. I enjoy it too, but he LOOOOOOVES it. It's a hobby that helps him overcome his stressful day. Sure he makes a mess, but munching on a fabulous dinner puts all thoughts of crumbs and spills out-of-sight. Who am I to argue? Being served makes me feel all royal and spoiled and pampered. I'll take a another helping, please. 

        {spinach ricotta stuffed white fish wrapped in bacon topped with rosemary}

• We're also adjusting to an empty nest. It's so hard. It's heartbreaking and proud all at the same time. I struggle. Letting go of my 2 little girls? Where did time go? Why aren't they always making the decisions and choices to lead the life I had planned for them? Being a mom doesn't end at your child's adulthood so...it's hard to make the transition from "Because I said so!" to only being able to offer wise advice, usually unwelcome. {"I've been there...I'll all knowing now...you SHOULD do it this way".} So well, sometimes I need to talk it over. In writing. With either nobody identifying but me having the chance to vent or having advice of another mom who survived the same experience enlighten me with her words of wisdom. Doesn't happen inside my head. "I should have listened to 'my' mom more."

      

• Blogging. Yep. I'm an addict. I've been blogging since 2007. Six years doesn't make a blogger a smarty pants. I'm still learning everyday. Technology changes nearly every day. It's a challenge. But it's an everyday part of my life so why not a 'lifestyle' blog too? I might be crazy {I so saw you nod in agreement}. I do so enjoy it.
• We like to travel. It's usually almost always beach-tropical-Caribbean-Mexican related because that.is.relaxing. to us.  But now with life shifting, we may get a little wild and go off course one of these days. It's our goal to vacation once a year and we stay on track with that most of the time. I like sharing our experience in the hopes that someone can stumble across my personal review...I wish I had more 'experiences' to go on when searching vacation destinations. Tripadvisor is great but I want to see real pictures and hear real personal details. And if no one cares, that's okay...I like the fact that I have a journal and photo album (online) to refer to when I'm stuck Pittsburgh winter, bundled up and still freezing and missing daylight and sunshine. 
• FURBABY: We lost our dear beloved Niski {meaning "short" in Polish}, a dapple doxie, a few years ago. We've since welcomed a big fluffy ragdoll cat {"Lalka" which means "doll" in Polish} into our home and she is super sweet and bad. But mostly sweet. And because there's just not enough chaos in a house without daughters or dogs anymore, we're rescuing an Italian Greyhound. I.can't.wait. to have a little side kick stuck to my side. They're not called velcro dogs for nothin'!  "Velcro" in Polish is pronounced "velcro". 
• Picture Taking.     I'm still learning. I get a lot of practice with my DIY projects but I also want to work on my photography skills in other areas. I'm often drafted to take what I call amateur professional pictures of my nieces and nephews.
• Beauty & Fashion. I am a(n) (im)mature 40-something-ish girl so I'm never going to be a Cover Girl model but I'm always on the search for ways to maintain my youth. What the heck is it with gray hairs?! Get my hair all styled and "zoing"...some crazy pieces sticking up all shiny white and out of place on my brunette crown. Inherited dark circles even if I slept 12 hours (thanks, grandma!). And my #1 favorite place in the whole entire world to shop for clothes is at the thrift stores. But my daughters and I love being {not always trendy} but frugally fashionable. Before my DIY friends call me out, I must admit...my everyday clothes mostly consist of lounge pants and sweatshirts or pajamas but I do enjoy clothes, shoes and accessories as much as the next girl. 
• Entertaining. With a cook on staff (ahem, "Mutz"), that leaves me with lots of time to plan the details of making a family get-together pretty and fun. I don't have to work around nap time (unless it's my own... kidding!) so creating a beautiful tablescape for seasonal parties or summer picnics is my thang. Nothing formal or fancy...just makin' it special. 
• Reading. I'm a bookworm. I mostly read historical fiction or romance and will pick up whatever's popular and best selling. I'm about to embark on the Harry Potter series. I may be the only person in the world who didn't dive right in but back then I was way too busy. Or something. I don't know. It just wasn't my cup of tea and I had no interest. However, with more time on my hands and seeing how much HP is favored {there are crazies!}, I'm afraid I may have missed out on something. Can't have that! 
• Preparing for retirement? Gosh. That would just sounds old and crunchy until it's right around the corner and it's sounding sort of fun but scary. It's not something I've really concerned myself with much in the past but I think 'middle age' (is that what I'm called?) sort of has a way of making the topic and plans, "necessary". 
• Lots of babbling. I'm actually quiet in real life but once I start writing...I can't shut up!
• Of course DIY and decorating...which I'll continue to keep up-to-date over at DIY Show Off.   
  

So that there is just a start of what you'll see here. Oh...and I'm not going to pressure myself with a schedule over here. It's all about being comfortable. Just a place I've been wanting to settle into. Bored? Happy to have you 'hang out' once in a while!